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Beginning, again

Beginning, again


There is a sign on the west side of Beatrice that I pass every day. “It’s never too late to start again.” I’ve thought about that sign a lot during the last few weeks.

I’ve thought about the new that I started before I flipped the calendar to 2020.

My biggest challenge is the new puppy that I got in November. Buddy is lying at my feet and taking a nap as I write. Typically he is neither quiet or still for very long, but apparently we’ve earned a reprieve from his shenanigans.

I knew when I got a puppy that it was going to take some time to train him and for him to adapt to our family. What I didn’t know is how much energy and patience it would take for him to learn to go outside when he needed to go potty. Or how many snowmen would be lost in the struggle. (My collection has been compromised this season.)

I feel like I’ve done a lot of “out with the old” and “in with the new” this season. I cleaned my office and my closet. I’m not saying that they didn’t desperately need cleaning, but I think that’s all the energy that I have for the new year.

I’m tired of hearing the diet commercials that always surface in January and all the talk about resolutions that will likely be abandoned before February.

Knowing that is not the intent of the sign, I still found myself grumbling that I didn’t want to start again, I never quit.

Then after I made a really long list of the things I’m tired of, I realized that maybe I’m just tired. Period. I’m becoming a grouchy, old lady and maybe a little angry too. (That’s a separate list.)

It is time to start again with a new attitude.

Why is this so hard for me? I preach living intentionally with gratitude and joy in our daily lives, but still I’m struggling. Maybe some of you are too?

My recent birthday had me turning 49 years old. Not a big milestone birthday for most, but as I look back, I’m beginning to realize that the birthday’s that end with a nine have always been the hardest. It’s the last year of that decade of my life. What have I accomplished?

Is it beginning again or is it all the changes in my world that is making me grouchy? I still don’t know, but I’ve started new research and a new list.

The verse “Old things are passed away: behold, all things are made new” (2 Corinthians 5:17) keeps showing up. I’m beginning to understand that maybe the sign means different things for different people.

Maybe for some it means that they can begin a new relationship. A friendship, a marriage, an improved relationship with God.

I feel like I have a new relationship with my mom. Something that I didn’t think I would ever have the opportunity to have, but since I’m not the primary caregiver any longer, it’s become a mother-daughter friendship.

Maybe for some it means a new role. Maybe a new career or some other kind of volunteer opportunity. Something that will challenge you to grow as a person.

I am not taking on a new job (I have enough), but I just learned of a new role. I’m excitedly looking forward to August when I become a grandma for the first time.

I’m less excited for the car shopping that is bound to begin again soon my husband has just announced my Jeep is tired too.


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