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My filter is broken

My filter is broken

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Yesterday we bought a new filter for our drinking water. My husband remarked that at least we would have one filter in the house that worked. He was jokingly referring to the fact that since COVID-19 and my ongoing brain fog, the filter on what comes out of my mouth seems to be broken.

To be honest, I’m not all that concerned if that part of my brain doesn’t work anymore. Afterall, my spelling or taste haven’t returned either. Aside from the headaches and the inability to communicate my thoughts occasionally, the brain fog hasn’t been the worst part of COVID.

Actually, maybe it was time that I examined my priorities and make some shifts. I ran across the following while I was absent mindedly scrolling through Pinterest.

“As you are shifting, you will begin to realize that you are not the same person you used to be. The things you used to tolerate have become intolerable. When you once remained quiet, you are now speaking your truth. Where you once battled and argued, you are now choosing to remain silent. You are beginning to understand the value of your voice and there are some situations that no longer deserve your time, energy and focus.” (Unknown)

I will no longer be tolerant of clients with what seems like an emergency on their part who call, text or message on holidays, weekends and afterhours.

I will no longer tolerate laziness, not thinking or simply not listening. It is no longer my responsibility to be sure that someone – anyone really- is not inconvenienced.

In addition to recovering from COVID, I also had a milestone birthday and I have reached a time in my life that I will be taking care of myself and not making apologies.

“Destroy the idea that you have to be constantly working or grinding in order to be successful. Embrace the concept that rest, recovery, reflection are essential parts of the progress towards a successful and happy life.” (Zac Galifianakis)

I’ve read that “people with purpose, goals, and visions have no time for drama. They invest their energy in creativity and focus on living a positive life.”

I’m done. Done with worry, anxiety, stress and drama. I’m done allowing other people to consume my energy leaving me exhausted.

This year and in the coming years, I resolve to “set peace of mind as my highest goal and organize my life around it.” (Brian Tracy)

What it really means to me is that in addition to taking care of myself, I resolve to make better choices about my time and my activities.

What I have discovered with my brain fog is there is a lot of anger and resentment (and useless knowledge) rolling around in my thoughts. I don’t like being bitter and I don’t want to be that person.

For years I have had the following quote on my desk and it finally makes sense to me.

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the beauty in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that one life has breathed easier because you lived her. This is to have succeeded.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

I resolve to be authentic. To talk to myself like I would talk to someone I love. This year I will seek joy and the Lord’s purpose daily.

What about you?

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