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Last time I wrote that I was waiting for a lot of things in my life. Waiting to move to the farm. Waiting for a grant to be approved. Waiting to become more financial secure to take a big trip, to do some home improvements, for calving, for the season and the next calendar year.

I want a date and time of when will I lose these pregnancy pounds (it’s been 12 years!), or when will I get a full night of sleep? Perhaps, my biggest wait has been when will the grief of losing my dad to cancer subside?

All things I’ve been struggling with and waiting for a conclusion.

As I write this, my son is tracking Santa Claus on a website. He is having trouble waiting for Christmas giving.

As a part of my journey during this season of waiting, I’ve been listening to podcasts on the Women of Faith Ambassadors Facebook page.

A couple weeks ago Becky Speith did a devotional saying that “we should never hit snooze on our purpose.”

She went on to talk about seeing the vision of what God has for us and moving from pain to power, from weakness to strength and using that strength to find courage, our passion and finally victory and peace.

“Never hit snooze on your purpose,” Speith said.

That seemed to speak to me that day and I decided that I was not just waiting, I was going to do what God chose me to do.

In retrospect, I don’t think that I interrupted this correctly. I think I’m still supposed to learning something in the waiting.

I’m not great at waiting, I admit. Actually, in most situations I’m trying to control whatever it is I’m waiting for in my constant planning. But then I get sidetracked and distracted, usually picking up a few more projects hoping it will get me to my goal faster.

Why can’t I just wait for God’s perfect timing? Why can’t I find peace in the journey?

I can become very frustrated with myself, but it’s really fear and struggling to grow in spiritual maturity. It is me growing in faith.

“Faith is not believing that God can, it’s knowing God will.” (Ben Stein)

“Now if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience.” (Romans 8:25)

So last week, I’m listening to Alita Reynolds on the Women of Faith page and she was talking about finishing the year strong. “How do we lead ourselves well so that we can live out God’s purpose?”

She focused on reflect, repent, restore and recognize.

Reynolds talked about the “busyness of life” that many of us can relate to during this season. We get so caught up in the “doing” that we lose sight of the purpose. “God rewards fruit and not activity.”

Through each of these steps, Reynolds asks the listener “What does God have for you?”

This process not only helped me in my angst over waiting, but was also preparation for 2019. It helped me acknowledge that maybe some of my desires are not from God and will never have a conclusion. Some of the things on my list I need to prioritize and put some work into the waiting.

But the biggest aha for me was “God does not want you to be frazzled or in pain.”

In looking ahead to 2019 or maybe in your season of waiting - What does God have for you? What’s your purpose?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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